Karaoke

Today is one of those days when everything around me is so new and I just have not gotten the hang of it yet. You see, this is the day that is meant to evoke excitement, awe and all other wonderful feelings. By this time, however, every second brings dread.

It all started when two creative brains came together and convinced the rest of us to take part in the annual karaoke competition. And we are not talking easy nursery rhymes here- this would finally reveal the diva in me, I thought.So we set up “studio” at Annie’s room… oops! crib, and practice began immediately.

Now Annie has an angelic voice-but only when singing in the shower. Pendo on the other hand would entertain us with taarab any time we met. She had this soothing voice and was probably the only musician among us. Bobo, the only male among us, would whisper away and call it singing, so he was there mostly for morale. Of course I can sing, just in case you’re wondering. Except that you might call it squealing. But rap, I can.So our de facto choir mistress Pendo started s off with voice practice (really boring stuff) for the next two weeks.

The third week when she started off with the ma-me-mi-mo-mu chorus, we opted for mass action, demanding our rights to sing a real song, failure to which we would go back to sweets, sugar and soft drinks which we had given up in pursuit of the dream to become divas overnight.We finally got singing. Pendo played keyboard and sang lead while we harmonized. Imagine our amazement at Bobo when he sang tenor for once. He used to say there’s a voice after bass and he called it chitchat. The day he sang, we threw an impromptu bash.

Annie and I also learnt to sing. We became more and more confident in bathroom singing, and then it became garden singing. Eventually, we began to blend well together. Since this year’s karaoke competition registered a large number of participants, we had to go through elimination. Round 1 was so much of a hassle, almost like the Project Fame auditions. Everyone was there, so it seemed. There was even a group of 50 year olds, the local men group (League of Extraordinary Tuxedo Men), a group of noisy teens (the majority) and quite a number of mixed groups. Even the local church had a team.

When we eventually got on stage, it was one of the best performances for the day and we qualified for the finals.Bobo had already changed his business card-it read “Professional diva”. I was busy practicing my winning speech for all the annoying questions journalists like asking. Annie made posters for us-no kidding, we were the next celebs. Only Pendo seemed unexcited, but that did not serve to dampen our excitement.

Come the grand finale, we had syk to burn. New costumes, both for stage and the press conference… I even got a new walking style. No more slouching, no funny carefree laughter. We had to be properly cultured.By the time we were called backstage, the excitement, nervousness, tension, thrill and anticipation in us could only be described with one word: stage fright. At the precise moment when we needed the more experienced person among us, the worst of the worst things that could ever happen happened. Pendo vanished into the thin air.

Now, if this were an essay, the tension you are currently experiencing would be a tenth of what we felt. Annie ran around in circles, looking for Pendo, until we pointed out that Pendo would not be anywhere near her circles. Pour beloved choir mistress and source of inspiration had just gone missing. Bobo suddenly lost is voice when we were told we would be next on stage. This was going to be a bad day.

“Can we quit?” we asked. The organizers would hear none of it. “Next on stage, it’s the Toodles!!!!” At that precise moment, we heard the most angelic voice doing our well rehearsed intro, and we quickly composed ourselves and entered stage. Pendo was truly there in person. We had a shaky start when Bobo tried to recover his voice. By now, I was confident that all would be well. And we truly cooed until the end. That was when things literally fell apart.

I don’t know if we had been working too hard, but none of us hit the last note. Even Pendo missed her keyboard finish. By the time results were being read, we had fully recovered and resigned ourselves to the fact that we were not celebs any more. We cheered for the winners and eventually wanted to leave at the end of such an unfruitful day when the guest of honor, an accomplished musician, took to the stage.

“I first sang karaoke at the age of nine. I sang for God’s ears only, but he opened doors for me to touch people’s lives through music. I watched all the talent today and couldn’t help but think that one group did it from their hearts and for God. They also are good singers, maybe average to most of you, but help me welcome on stage the Toodles!” Truly, a man’s gift makes room for him. Keep your head up, but remember, humility is the key.